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Joke of the Day

"The Egg Race Who came in first? The over easy egg because it was really runny. How about second? The over medium egg because it was only a little runny. And last? That would be the baked egg."

"I'm not sure what my three-year-old needs more, naps or an exorcism."

"A man walks into a doctors wearing cling film trousers Doctor says, "" I can clearly see you're nuts"""

"What do children in north korea study for a science? Kimistry"

"I've got washboard abs. But unfortunately there is a load of laundry sitting on the washboard."

"Tarzan was tired when he came home. ""What have you been doing"" asked Jane. ""Chasing a herd of elephants on vines"" ""Really ?"" said Jane. ""I thought elephants stayed on the ground !"""

"Found the battery for your mom's dildo. http://imgur.com/XBmHG7I. C size for scale."

"Which book makes prudish Gorillas blush? The Naked Ape!"

"[mission] CMDR: Did everyone sync their watches? ME: Yeah and now it doesn't work CMDR: What? Let me see ME: I can't...it's in the sink"

"How do you get a Jewish girls number? you ask her to roll her sleeves up."