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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a black hitchhiker? Stranded."

"What's the worst part about being a black Jew? you have to sit at the back of the gas chamber."

"Why didn't the penguin jump off the iceberg? Because he got cold feet."

"*montage of me teaching a penguin to do everything my son Brian can do* Wife: Where's Brian? Me: [studying her closely] He's... right here?"

"Pineapple & Semen Isn't it odd that pineapple makes semen taste good, yet semen makes pineapple taste like shit. Credit to Harris Wittels"

"How does a Jew make his coffee? Hebrews it"

"Pamela Anderson turns 43 today but her tits are barely old enough to buy a drink in this city."

"IamA personal executive assistant answering questions on behalf of former Toronto mayor, Rob Ford, AMA! Whoops, wrong *sub.* [The Payoff](http://wompwompwomp.com/)"

"What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizzas didn't scream when Hitler put them in the oven."

"Wife has a fever. Daughter has a fever. Neither are of the ""disco"" variety."