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Joke of the Day

"Pineapple & Semen Isn't it odd that pineapple makes semen taste good, yet semen makes pineapple taste like shit. Credit to Harris Wittels"

"Q: Why did the sheep jump into the lake? A: He wanted to take a ba-a-a-th."

"Q: Why did the astronomer hit himself on the head in the afternoon? A: He wanted to see stars during the day."

"What even is Atheism? A non-prophet organization."

"Why should you never laugh at thieves in a car-accident? It could be your car"

"two blondes walked into a bar You thought one of them would of seen it"

"Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident? A: Be too drunk to find your keys."

"I'm not a basic Jew, I'm Hasidic."

"One time, this guy handed me a picture of him, He said ""here's a picture of me when I was younger."" I responded ""Every picture is of you when you were younger."" -Mitch Hedberg"

"How many friend-zoned guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They just sit around and compliment it and get pissed when it won't screw."