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Joke of the Day

"I'm against the marriage of anyone whose first instinct is to film and then show the world their elaborate proposal."

"Why do pigs run from medicine? They hate getting cured."

"How do you know if an Asian has been to your house? Your math homework's done, your computer is upgraded, and that little twat is still trying to back out of your driveway."

"The main lumberjack at my company does some minor computer hacking in his spare time... ...he's our key logger."

"We started a band... We're called the 999 mega bytes. Haven't got a gig yet."

"I don't want to brag, but when I take my clothes off... the shower gets turned on."

"What do you say to a two headed monster? Hello hello."

"I like watching documentaries about murderers because i know i'm doing better than every person in the movie."

"Reasons why i never let my girlfriend touch my iPhone. 1) I don't have iPhone. 2) I don't have a girlfriend."

"Do you know what looks funny? s p o u ,no u p no"