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Joke of the Day

"Knock knock Heisenberg Knock knock Who's there I am the one who knocks I am the one who knocks who You know exactly who I am say my name Heisenberg You're goddamn right."

"What do you call a dictionary that smokes weed? High definition"

"Me: I can't believe we have $900 for Christmas gifts this year! Fridge: I don't feel well. I think I have a fever."

"Did you hear? The supreme court ruled that gay marriage has extended to swans."

"What is the thinnest book in the world? What Men Know About Women..."

"After countless scientific trials and errors, I have successfully turned back time. It's emit."

"I like my women like I like my deer... Mounted."

"*puts down window Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Yes *puts up window and drives away"

"WHY IS USHER ALWAYS SAYING HIS NAME IN HIS SONGS, IS HE A POKEMON?"

"What did JFK say after banging Marilyn Monroe? ""Some men have greatness thrust upon them, some men thrust upon greatness."""