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Joke of the Day

"*puts down window Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Yes *puts up window and drives away"

"What do Polish Hussars and toothpaste have in common? They both fight against Tartars."

"How much is the price of sex in New Zealand? About $20 a kilo."

"Dear Satan, God never healed my dyslexia so I'm looking for new religion. Please send some pamphlets. And tell Rudolph hey. Love, Me"

"I might be overreacting, but being forced to scroll past other countries in a drop down menu makes me want to start a world war."

"What's the best thing about turning 65? No more calls from insurance salesmen."

"I once knew a bald guy who liked to draw rabbits on his head but from a distance they looked like hares"

"I need subtle fat jokes My wife is annoyingly pregnant. Give me your best."

"Thanks, Obama! The one time the Republicans are actually happy it is Obama's fault that Trump is President."

"What's Gordon Ramsey's second favorite movie? FROZE-- oh, nevermind."