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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a dictionary that smokes weed? High definition"

"Went out last night, i got so wasted that when i got home apparently i blew chunks. Chunks is my dogs name."

"I was out of town and I asked for directions, but the guy just mooned me. I thought he was a bit cheeky."

"This Christmas I got a new car for my wife. I thought it was a great trade."

"In Dog Beers, I've only had one."

"If a 99 pound person eats 1 pound of nachos that person is 1% nacho"

"[NSFW] what did the leper say to the hooker? Keep the tip"

"Arguing on the internet is like running in the special olympics Even if you win, you're still retarded."

"Word of advice: dont bother buying toilet paper marketed under the name of Chuck Norris... It's rough, tough, and doesn't take shit from anyone."

"My 6yo is arguing with me over what day of the week it is. Have kids, they said."