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Joke of the Day

"An honest Joke Job interviewer: ""What is your greatest weakness?"" Young man: ""Honesty"" Job interviewer: ""I don't think honesty is a weakness."" Young man: ""I don't really give a shit what you think..."""

"wife: Would you ever want an open marriage? me *messages every girl in my phone asking if they'd have sex with me* Umm *all respond no* Nah"

"What did the physicist say when he tried to meditate? Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm..."

"So apparently there's a team of refugees at the olympics this year. Do you reckon the Syrian refugees are on the rowing team?"

"What do you say to a person who calls a black fence a gate? No, a fence."

"I'm not sure, but if I died in your arms tonight, that makes you a suspect. At the very least."

"On Fred's 17th birthday his Dad said he'd take him out for his first driving lesson. As they got in the car the father said ""Just one thing Fred. If you're going to hit anything make sure it's cheap."""

"Women are like coffee beans: The coarser they are, the more you need to grind them, the finer they get."

"How do doctors treat mesothelioma? Asbestos they can."

"Condoms were invented by Arabic-Muslims sometime in the 1400s using lower goat intestine They were later improved by the British in 1873 by taking the intestine out of the goat first"