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Joke of the Day

"What do you call the accidental nuclear bombing of a furniture plant? Chairnobyl."

"What did the Seattle-based baker say to her apprentice? Someday you will bake like I bake."

"Kids: haha you have to work and we don't have school today Me *closing the front door* I changed the wifi password. Love you guys!"

"Thought of this while making breakfast. What did the microbiologist bring to the art fair? A cup of yogurt."

"What do you call a sexually active spaghetti? Fetishini Alfredo"

"My ex just asked if I want to go on holiday with him and my ex mother-in-law and now I don't need Twitter because I will never stop laughing"

"Two Men Walk Into a Bar the third one ducks"

"I tried to catch fog yesterday Mist."

"Driving down the highway and on the side of the road I see a preist fucking a goat! I yell out 'hey, wrong kid!'"

"Why doesn't Hitler run a marathon? Because he can't finish a race."