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Joke of the Day

"[answering machine] ""Hi Mom, leave a message"""

"Why are gay men so well dressed? They didn't spend all that time in the closet doing nothing"

"How do you make holy water from just plain water? You boil the hell out of it."

"I told the sad ghost ten puns to raise his spirits... No pun intendid."

"Where do epileptic midgets go for pizza? Little Caeser's"

"officer it's my son's car ""just make it stop sir"" I don't know how ""can you call him"" I'll try *tries to dial while car bounces up and down*"

"My GF spent $49 on a haircut. Had she gone to Petsmart she'd have gotten an ear cleaning, anal gland extraction and a free bandana as well."

"I witnessed an attempted murder earlier... Luckily only one crow showed up..."

"What type of web developer likes finding bugs Spiders"

"My girlfriend's not pregnant! Edit: I have to apologize... the pregnancy test came back false *negative*... she is pregnant."