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Joke of the Day

"Walked into Olive Garden, yelled ""I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN,"" then stormed out & slammed the door because when you're there, you're family."

"How many babies does it take to paint a barn... ...depends on how hard you throw them"

"Why did the feminist accuse her teacher of misogyny? Because he'd D graded her."

"I got a letter from the bank saying I was still in debt. I don't know why, I sent them a cheque."

"Why is it that New Jersey got all the toxic waste dumps and California got all the lawyers? New Jersey had first choice."

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil and paper"

"Passport pictures make you look exactly how you feel just before that much needed vacation."

"How do you order a bill in Australian restaurant? Cheque, mate! --- Maybe not the funniest buy posting because: My. My own. My precious..."

"How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? None. They've already screwed everything"

"Charles Dickins walks into a bar and orders a Martini. The bartender says, Olive or Twist?"