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Joke of the Day

"I love Isis She's my favourite pharaoh."

"There was a young couple having sex in the pool. I walked up to the lifeguard and said, ""Aren't you going to do anything?"" He said, ""I might have a wank if you leave me alone."""

"What kind of overalls does mario wear? Denim, denim, denim"

"There was a documentary on TV about the world's smallest car. I couldn't get into it."

"Why did god invent yeast infections? So women know what it's like to be with an annoying cunt"

"Did you hear the joke about the dance? The punchline wasn't funny."

"I'm taking a stand. If the stand owners come looking for it, you guys saw nothing."

"7yo: I'M REALLY MAD AT YOU MOMMA SO I'M GOING TO BED EARLY Me: OH NO. NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT"

"*corrects your grammar incorrectly, winks at your date*"

"I met an Indian girl who doesn't date Indian guys... When I asked her why, she said ""uhhh no real reason"". I'm thinking, ""no reason, huh?"" So I punched her in the face. Now she has a reason."