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Joke of the Day

"what sorcery is this, the iron wasnt workin, so I took it apart put it together again got left with extra parts and screws but its working??"

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"What is the microbe's favorite country singer? (Original) Amoeba Mcentire"
"Don't you hate when the whole bus is empty, but some guy sits right next to you? I know you do. That's why I do it."
"Why are hot peppers so nosey? cause they're jalapeno business"
"Just buckled a bottle of Tito's Vodka into the backseat of my car, so I obviously know what it's like to be a mom."
"Jesus christ, guys! Can we stop arguing about politics for ONE second and change subject to something more lighthearted? So what are your guys' thoughts on abortion?"
"There is nothing bad about masturbation... ...at least I fuck somebody I love."
"My wife and I just celebrated our 5th anniversary. A traditional gift would be something wood. So I gave her some wood. ALL NIGHT LONG."
"Why is Lance Armstrong a good citizen? Because he is always recycling"