84689

Joke of the Day

"Do you like tapes and CDs? Cuz I'm gonna tape my dick to your forehead, so you can see deez nuts."

"Interviewer: I heard you were extremly quick at Math... Me: ""yes, as a matter of fact I am"" Interviewer: ""Whats 14x27"" Me: ""49"" Interviewer: ""that's not even close"" me: ""yeah, but it was fast"""

"Why did the bin lorry crash into a bunch of pedestrians? It was Bin-Laden"

"A duck walks into rehab ""What're you here for?"" asks the desk lady. ""I'm addicted to quack."""

"the (please) fresh (lead) deli (me) sandwiches (into) at (woods) Walgreens (and) are (shoot) actually (me) pretty (in) good (head)"

"What did the lawyer say to the sovereign citizen when asked for legal counsel? **Am I being retained?** **Am I being retained?**"

"Why does Kylo Ren decline all my raid invites in WoW? Cause he been solo."

"What's a pirates favourite letter? P, because without it they're irate"

"Champagne says I'm classy. Vodka says I can do anything I want. My therapist says I have to stop talking to my drinks."

"They say you are what you eat, but I don't remember eating a massive disappointment."