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Joke of the Day

"* during an interview * Interviewer: ""So how long were you employed in your last job?"" Candidate: ""I'd say my biggest weakness is my listening skills."""

Next Joke
 
"Judging by how many people brazenly wander into traffic while staring at their phone, there must be some force-field app I don't know about."
"Guy: How many puppies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Do you know yet? Me (in a sea of puppies): No, they haven't done it. Bring more"
"Beeped my horn at this cute guy who walked by. He shot me a dirty look. He's playing hard to get, but I've started planning the wedding!"
"Dear LOL, Thanks for being there for me when times get awkward. Sincerely, I have nothing else to say"
"Anyone know how long we are supposed to ""Shake It Off""? Taylor never specified and frankly I'm exhausted!"
"The Mongols In the early days of their empire the mongols were openly mocked by their enemies for being so small and weak. Needless to say, Genghis khan really *stepped* up to the challenge."
"Doctor Doctor...people keep ignoring me.. Next pls... im here all wk."
"I hope my search for my lost heroin... isn't in vein."
"I was in a horrible accident a few years ago, and I suffered some brain damage and lost feeling to my whole left side. I'm feeling all right now"