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Joke of the Day

"1915-17 may have been the worst years in human history for food poisoning. 1.5 million Armenians died from bad turkey."

"Me: ""Has anybody seen my henlay?"" You: ""what's a henlay?"" Me: "".....eggs"" :-,"

"If I had a dollar for every person who found me unattractive... I'd buy the htc vive, because who the fuck cares if your ugly when you have VR."

"What do you call a Mexican Jedi? The chosen Juan."

"A guy walks into a pub he was hiding from the police after they shot his family for j walking"

"I just received a discount offer for a brand new guitar... ... no strings attached!"

"A poem about bugs: If it can fly, it should die."

"Trump and Clinton both die in a plane crash. Who survives? America"

"""You lie like a doge!"" I tell my wife. ""So deceit!"" I add. ""Very fraud!"" I mention. ""Much fiction!"" I point out. ""Wow,"" she says."

"What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reality."