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Joke of the Day

"Doctor in lab coat peers into microscope. ""Good Lord!"" he says. ""His burrito levels are off the charts!"" - from my autopsy"

"I've never once been able to explain my car trouble to a mechanic without resorting to sound effects."

"Cooper at the end of Interstellar ""You know what I like about space travel, man. They get older, I stay the same age."""

"What do you get if you cross a skunk and a balloon? A creature that stinks to high heaven!"

"What is the difference between a blonde and a blonde dude? The blonde has a higher sperm count."

"Sex is like Poker... If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand!"

"There are two types of people in this world. And I hate them."

"Why is it once you go black you never go back? Because no one will take you back"

"A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It's a shitzu."

"The American education system obviously listen to Pink Floyd. They've left those kids a loan."