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Joke of the Day

"I've never once been able to explain my car trouble to a mechanic without resorting to sound effects."

"Q: Why didn't the pig have to pay for drinks on the cruise? A: It was all-oink-lusive."

"Turtleneck pro: if you wear one while you're eating you can't get crumbs in your bra. Turtleneck con: see above."

"I went on a date with a drinking straw. It really sucked."

"A Zombie ate Ram's brains... He didn't mind it at all... Silly but original. :P"

"I can't believe my back is killing me. My spine has some nerve."

"What's the President's favorite vegetable? Barackoli"

"So if Valentine's Day is for couples, then the other 364 days are for me, right?"

"What do you call a beaten up pretzel? A salted pretzel"

"Frizzy hair? Coconut oil No shaving cream? Coconut oil Dry skin? Coconut oil Relationship problems? Coconut oil Bad credit? Coconut oil"