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Joke of the Day

"(taken from my kid's favorite show 'Arthur') What is a sea monster's favorite meal? Fish and Ships"

"There's just 1 thing u can count on: fingers. And calculators. 2 things. Oh abacuses. Three. Jeez Im gonna need to make a list. Lists. Four."

"Did you guys hear about the catastrophic genetic flower breeding program that tried to cross an aster and a daisy? It was a dais-aster."

"My Mexican friend is so indecisive He's always on the fence"

"I used to know a very professional scarecrow He was outstanding in his field."

"Girls read smiles And the gap in your teeth spell friendzone"

"What's worse then ants in your pants? Uncles in your pants."

"What do you call a man with no shins? Tony"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Callas ! Callas who ? Callas should be removed by a podiatrist !"

"[couples therapy] HER: He's always talking down to me ME: *heavy sigh* It's called being condescending but I doubt you knew that, Karen"