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Joke of the Day

"Did you guys hear about the catastrophic genetic flower breeding program that tried to cross an aster and a daisy? It was a dais-aster."

"Wanna hear a joke? Donald trumps presidential candidacy."

"The cashier wasn't impressed with my top hat, sash, and monocle until I said ""Keep the change"" from the $1 I gave him for my $0.95 purchase."

"Me: looks like taco bells closed, sign says short staff Dad: well damnit! They should have hired taller people!!"

"I told my friend I was gay, then he turned his back on me. That was his first mistake."

"Where do cats go after death? Purrgatory"

"Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing."

"The Catholic Church has chosen its anthem Concerto for organ in a minor."

"HER: Wow you look great. ME: Thanks. I use both my eyes."

"One positive of Arnold Palmer's passing... He's six under for the first time in years..."