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Joke of the Day

"co-pilot: ""ask in a way that won't panic everyone"" pilot: ""ok"" [via intercom] ""is there a fireman on the plane?"""

"""I'm sorry"" and ""My bad"" mean the same thing Unless you're at a funeral"

"a priest, a jew, and an atheist walk into a bar... they get a few drinks, and walk out."

"What did the bra say to the hat? You go on ahead. I'll give these two a lift. Edit: Someone didn't like the word guys in it"

"Why did the black med student wait all day at the rear entrance of the student cafeteria? Because his professor told his class they were going to spend the entire next day at a bacteria conference."

"Did you know: the human body is 60% water, 20% hair, 34% rope, 9% tubes, 12% earrings, 99% eyes, 13% jubjubs, 6% dingdongs, 100% crannies"

"Sometimes I squirt mayonnaise across my breasts so I don't forget what it's like to have a boyfriend."

"I like my women like I like my coffee... Ground up and in a can."

"Don't hate the PLAYA... hate the Spanish word for beach."

"I'm ready to be a dad. Of that, I'm sure. Wife: are you certain? Sure: yes."