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Joke of the Day

"co-pilot: ""ask in a way that won't panic everyone"" pilot: ""ok"" [via intercom] ""is there a fireman on the plane?"""

"Urgent!!!! hey! I'm sending this message via internet explorer so it might be slow... but quick! There is a plane heading for the twin towers! call somebody before it is too"

"What lives in a tree and is dangerous? A crow with a machine gun."

"You know what's pretty cool? A cellar :)"

"Q: What did the ruler gain a reputation for while campaigning? A: Straight talk."

"What did the knob say to the door? I LOCK you a lot! yep, its corny, indeed, but... I'm tryin'! ~Skip"

"Speaking from one deaf man to another, ......... ""what?"""

"She criticized my apartment... So I knocked her flat"

"""What are you doing here?"" I just got fired from the circus ""Oh my"" Yeah, the calibration on my cannon was way off. I landed in your pond"

"Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street I asked her what she was doing she said ""Moving."""