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Joke of the Day
"""I'm sorry"" and ""My bad"" mean the same thing Unless you're at a funeral"
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"How did Helen Keller get punished? Her mom rearranged the living room"
"I used to be a comedian back in Newfoundland But I got sick of having to explain the jokes."
"Why did the polish person marry someone from the other side of the country? Because opposite poles attract"
"There are three kinds of people in this world Those that can count and those that cannot"
"Unless: -The house is on fire -The cops are about to kick down the door -Or you're ordering food Do NOT talk to me while I'm on the toilet"
"Whenever I have a bad day,,, I just remind myself that there are people out there who have their ex's name tattooed on their body"
"Going from Obama to Trump is like going to a nice restaurant but it's full so u leave and have to eat an old ketchup packet from ur car"
"A paleontologist who studies failed ancestral lines... A Faileontologist"
"Why is everyone impatiently awaiting the new Zelda game? It's Hylian-ticipated"