125683
Joke of the Day
"I'm ready to be a dad. Of that, I'm sure. Wife: are you certain? Sure: yes."
Next Joke
"I just spent fifteen minutes wondering how mermaids poop in case anyone out there is looking for a best friend or arch nemesis or something."
"I didn't want to walk in the woods. But i was forest"
"Me: do you love me? Siri: I'm only your assistance. Me: if you don't, I will jump off a bridge. Siri:there are two bridges near you."
"My new neighbor is fat, obnoxious, and loud. Now I know how Canada feels."
"Why do some blondes have bruised belly buttons? Because there are blond guys too."
"Angry mimes give each other the talking treatment."
"What kind of car do ghosts drive? BOOgatti!"
"What do you do once you're done raping Helen Keller? Break her fingers"
"Get a new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade!"