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Joke of the Day

"""Why are the balloon bouquets more expensive than packaged balloons? It's just air!"" Exactly ""What?"" It's inflation ""I hate you"""

"My parents raised me as an only child... Which really upset my sister"

"Whats a plants favorite drink? Root Beer"

"A man has a heart attack on a plane. The man who was sitting next to him stood up and shouted""Is anyone here a doctor"" The woman in front of them then stood up and shouted ""I'm a vegan!""."

"Hey websites, I will always ""skip intro"", so knock it off."

"If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound? No, because trees can't talk."

"Sometimes, I think I'm the only member of my family not doped up on prescription drugs all the time. Then I usually take my amnesiac meds."

"I speak both universal languages: 1. English 2. Louder & slower English"

"What do you call an overweight homosexual? Jigglypuff."

"If had a feminine side I would try and fcuk it."