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Joke of the Day

"I'm the guy who invented the sandal for people with only one leg. It was a flop. Credit to 'flaggon' from sikipedia"

"Am I deceitful? Yes. I am not."

"Having a girlfriend is like having a car... ... I don't have a car :'(."

"I don't know why China wants to continue the One China policy... I mean, the One Child policy didn't turn out too well."

"Soup Person1 my alphabet soup is telling me a message. Person 2 what is it saying? Person1: oooooo Person 2 *sigh* Those are cheerios"

"Nothing says you are ugly like Facebook asking ""Are you sure you want to make this your profile picture?"""

"Aloe Vera!... me talking to the plants. With a Cockney accent."

"The word 'mortar' has 2 different meanings. As I discovered today when the house I built blew up."

"Why did the comedian go to doctor? Because the audience gave him the clap"

"What's black, blue, and hates having sex? The ten year old in my trunk."