222696

Joke of the Day

"I farted in a room full of hipsters? They argued for two hours about who heard it first."

"Children; because how else could you collect teeth without seeming psychotic."

"What did the baker say about her co-worker who never sleeps and always smells funky? At yeast he's a fungi."

"I need a gun to protect me against those that want to harm me, a group mainly made up of people I've threatened with shoot with my gun"

"I found a girl by the train tracks and got head. I would've gone to third base but I couldn't find the rest of her."

"What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved."

"I can't remember what 51, 6 and 500 are in Roman numerals... fucking livid"

"I bet when Johnny Depp dies his only regret will be he didn't do enough Tim Burton films."

"How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light-bulb? None. Don't worry about me, I'll just sit here in the dark."

"What did the triangle need to do before he could get a loan? He needed somebody to cosine."