105589

Joke of the Day

"I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant. but then I changed my mind."

"The show ""The Office"" ended in 2013. We are now living in a post-office world."

"Gaining weight from drinking so much water? Drink lighter fluid"

"[x-post from r/dyslexia] Today I misread 63 as 68 so it took me twice as long to get home with the public transport Whoops, wrong bus"

"I dream of a day when my toddler can poop and the entire neighborhood doesn't have to hear her say she's done."

"Whenever I'm in a difficult situation, I think, ""What would I do?"" so I can do the opposite thing"

"i bet when Kid Rock invented rap, people were like ""No! This is nonsense!"" but he (in typical Kid fashion) was like ""F*ck you're rules! """

"""Piece of cake"" should not mean ""Easy!"" It should mean ""Delicious!"""

"Why didn't the Indian grow facial hair? He would have Apache beard"

"My sister is a mathematician... She celebrates 4/20 on January fifth because it's just simpler that way."