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Joke of the Day

"The job interviewer asked me to define turnover. I said, ""That's what I do before I go to sleep."""

Next Joke
 
"Online guy: wanna chat I'm 9 inches Me: i'm 58 you would barely reach the middle of my shin how could we hold hands on our wedding day"
"What do you do when your girlfriend starts smoking? Use a lubricant"
"One time I read a LunarBaboon comic that didn't make me cry. Actually, it did. I lied about the feels."
"New diet plan: murder all the skinny people."
"SB50 Panthers and Broncos coin toss Hillary won the coin toss"
"It's not illegal to get in a taxi and scream until you've reached your destination."
"I got a job at the circus circumcising baby elephants. It pays peanuts, but the tips are huge."
"What did the horny Astronomer say to the telescope? I wanna see Uranus."
"The Honorable Judge Matthew McConaughey enters the court room All rise all rise all rise."