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Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't Mexico live up to it's full potential in the Olympics? Because all the Mexicans that can run, jump, and swim are in America."

"[kung fu fight] ""Your tiger claw is no match for my crane."" *starts lifting heavy building materials*"

"What did the Middle Eastern terrorist say when he was captured by the police? Oman!"

"If you told Alexander Hamilton that the online lottery to see his rap musical was unavailable due to server overload, he'd be like, ""WITCH!"""

"One day my kid will ask me why he's half human and half final exam"

"I could've built a school in Africa with the amount of time I've spent uncapitalizing letters in texts to seem cool."

"Hold.. Hold.. Hold.. CHARGE!!!!! -Ice at the bottom of a glass"

"How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? One. They're efficient and don't have humour."

"What do you call a woman who's not wearing underwear? A barracuchi."

"Knock Knock... Knock Knock. Who's there? Statue. Statue who? STATUE KNOCKIN' ON MY DOOR? Thank you."