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Joke of the Day

"When I hear commercials say ""win a trip for you and six friends"" I start counting to see if I have six friends."

"Hi Mrs. Smith ... can Johnny come out and play baseball with us? Oh you mean little boy ... you know Johnny is a quadraplegic ! Yes I know Mrs. Smith. We want to use him for home plate !"

"A woman converting to Islam is like a black person converting to slavery."

"Him: What traumatic event lead to you not believing in god? Me: oh, um, science."

"Met a microbiologist this morning He was bigger than I expected."

"remember when u found out the french word for seal was phoque and u were like this is the best day of my phoquing life"

"Taking vocabulary to a whole new thingy"

"When God created china he knew he would never have to make anything else again....."

"I like my women...... I like my women like I like my coffee....... Ground up and in the freezer."

"I got kicked out of my club cuddling team today.. ..turns out they frown on the use of performance enhancing hugs."