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Joke of the Day

"What happened to the Japanese man who walked into a wall with a boner He hurt his nose. There are more boner jokes at http://www.bonerjokes.com"

"At Comic Con, all I could think was how happy these people's moms must be to have the house to themselves for a few hours."

"how often do i beat my wife? Every time i clap my hands."

"People who unfollow me always seem startled when I show up at their home to conduct an exit interview"

"I had a vasectomy today, and my wife keeps asking how I feel... I've had to tell her over and over that it's not that bad, and that I don't notice much of a vas deferens."

"Microwaves should have a ""Pfft"" button."

"You know what they say about assuming things... No I have no idea!! Did you assume I did?!"

"What diapers should you put on a dead baby? Pamperspired."

"My anaconda don't want none unless you use proper grammar and avoid using double negatives."

"""Waiter waiterthere's a hand in my soup."" ""That's not your soup sir that's your finger bowl."""