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Joke of the Day

"I removed Sean Connery's limbs & replaced them with Daniel Craig's arms & Pierce Brosnan's legs. They formed an unlikely Bond."

"What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking in a house fire :)"

"What's the difference between Kim and Robert K? Robert never got a famous black guy off all by himself ..."

"What's the tragedy with little people? They lead such short lives."

"Friend: Did Eric survive the bear attack? Me: 'BEAR'-ly! F: HA! Any injuries? Me: {nervously} Ooooohhhhh BAD JOKE... He's definitely dead..."

"I bet the LAPD gets a lot of calls about ""a lost, lonely-looking little girl"" that turn out to be David Spade walking home."

"I want to be featured on the news and the caption below me to read *unintelligible screaming*."

"Just realized why my Grandpa called his sideburns thigh ticklers Excuse me guys while I go walk in front of a bus"

"Sure, I'd get married. But follow him on Twitter? I'm not ready for that kind of commitment."

"My boss told me that if I can't show up sober then don't bother coming to work tomorrow. Three day weekend!"