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Joke of the Day

"I want to be featured on the news and the caption below me to read *unintelligible screaming*."

"I sure talk a lot of crap for someone who can't spell ""Wednesday"" without having to say ""Wed-nes-day"" in my head."

"Whag did one cat say to the other? Meow"

"What do you say to a person at a funeral held at 10 A.M.? Good mourning."

"Did you know that if you put your finger on your nose there is a 99% chance... That your finger is gonna be on your nose... What were you expecting to find?"

"Why are Nazis so good at math? They always come up with the final solution."

"Survival Tip: if a bear comes at you, do not try to ""sweep the leg"". They've all seen The Karate Kid and learned how to defend against it."

"Who did the baker bring to work? His doughter."

"It's my life. I'll live it, I'll love it, and I won't care what you think of it."

"Who is the greatest painter of this century? Pigcasso!"