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Joke of the Day

"Why was the solider nervous about being deployed? He had arachnophobia."

"What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? Polaroids."

"We've all been there. In your mom, that is."

"I was in a horrible accident a few years ago, and I suffered some brain damage and lost feeling to my whole left side. I'm feeling all right now"

"A vegan buddhist... ...decides to jump off the roof of a meat factory as the ultimate form of protest believing that he will be reincarnated. He became a vegetable."

"Asians offer Whites the secret to telling them apart. Whites accept but deliver message to the wrong Asian."

"An unemployed guy gets a call from the lady at the Employment agency Lady : I have two openings for you. Guy : I know. The lady hangs up."

"Turns out being a conspiracy theorist and having Asian friends don't go so well together. You can only shout ""OPEN YOUR EYES!"" so many times before someone gets offended."

"Why was the stoner kicked out of the eating competition? He was caught using performance enhancing drugs."

"A man with no arms and no legs is standing at the bus stop... The bus driver pulls up and and says ""alright mate, how you getting on?"""