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Joke of the Day

"We've all been there. In your mom, that is."

"Did you hear it's 'National Pretzel Day' in America today? Just making sure everyone knows it's knot bread... (thankyou Simpsons)"

"Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger cross the road? To **GET TO THE CHOPPA!!!**"

"How many dead babies does it take to fill up my house? One more."

"What do you call a French sandal? Philippe Flop!"

"I was playing Words with Fiends I scored 50 points for using all my runes, but summoned Pazuzu."

"Two newfies are walking down a path... They see a sheep tangled up in a fence. The one says ""man, I wish that was a pretty lady"" to which his friend replys ""i just wish it was dark"""

"Why do blondes wear panties? To keep their ankles warm."

"What do you take before every meal? A seat."

"Telling someone they can't be sad because others have it worse is like telling someone they can't be happy because others have it better."