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Joke of the Day

"What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? Polaroids."

"What were the Zodiac Killer's Plans for Vacation? To take a Cruz."

"The crowd at this bar is so young someone just got slimed."

"The worst thing about wearing a turtleneck is not being able to get up off of your back if you fall over."

"That awkward moment when someone is cooking fish in the office and all the girls begin sniffing themselves."

"I am creating a new airline called 'The Wife'... Crash proof... It will never go down."

"I made a shitty voodoo doll, once... ...and all the limbs fell off. Worked out for me, though."

"What does a horny toad say? Rubbit"

"If Trump and Hillary are both drowning and you could only save one... What type of sandwich would you make?"

"If I am ever on life support, unplug me ... ... then plug me back in. See if that works."