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Joke of the Day

"1. have a child 2. never mention it on facebook 3. dress it in old-timey clothes and have it stand in the background of all your photos"

"What do horny terrorists in airplanes do? High jack."

"For Halloween I'm just gonna talk shit to complete strangers and go as the internet."

"Why are dirty jokes so uncommon Because the punchline's always so hard"

"How did a Gorilla come to be with Washington at Valley Forge? He had seen a sign saying 'Uncle Simian Wants You!'"

"How many pornstars does it take to screw a light bulb? Nobody knows, they keep cutting themselves. PS: original joke"

"Cash grant After helping his mom over the weekend, a boy receives a $50 bill from his mom as a reward. He goes to school on Monday and declares: ""I just got a cash Grant!"" wa..wa..waaaaaa"

"I couldn't work for that man anymore, especially now after what he said to me. He said, ""You're fired"""

"What does the comedian say to his children on his deathbed? ""No one will appreciate your jokes once you're *dad.*"""

"My buddy the hacker took the quiz ""What Beatles song best describes your life."" The answer he got: ""My Way""."