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Joke of the Day

"A man and his buddy walk out of a bar and see a dog licking himself... One looks to the other and says, ""I wish I could do that!"". His buddy looks at him and says, ""He would probably bite you""."

"Whats the difference between the government and a stripper? Strippers don't rig their polls."

"A begger walks up to me... And asks, ""do you have a few extra dollars I can have?"" I said, ""I have a few dollars, but they aren't extra."""

"There is a 88% chance my chalk outline will be holding a piece of cheese."

"Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse."

"Shooting guns is a stupid hobby. Its much easier and more cost efficient to shoot targets!"

"Today I broke my leg but it's going tibia okay"

"I always get told off when introducing my wife... Apparently, the label 'ex-girlfriend' is highly inappropriate."

"I hate it when a dog starts barking and then every other dog nearby retweets him."

"One. How many psychics does it take to change a lightbulb?"