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Joke of the Day

"Q: How many UPM's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None! If you'd just make it a day exterior we wouldn't be screwing around with all these damn light bulbs!"""

"Bad jokes are hereditary They pun in the family."

"*aliens return to ship* ALIEN LEADER: Where are the humans? ""We left them"" AL: Why? ""They didn't look anything like their selfies in rl"""

"Fool me Once - Shame on You. Fool me Twice- Shame on Me. Fool me Thrice- What are you, a Nigerian Scamster?"

"[A Dad about to give the birds & the bees talk] ""Son, when-"" *Watches son try to poke a Capri Sun for 35 minutes* ""Know what, we're good"""

"How To Make Lemon Squares: Make the undercookie Then the jigglesauce Pour the jigglesauce on the undercookie and put it in the bakeybox"

"On this great new diet called ""sleep through breakfast."""

"Is it ok to sleep with a second cousin? It must be, because the first one didn't seem to mind."

"""Hey son, we really love you but we posted a picture of you on Instagram and nobody liked it which is why we're giving you up for adoption."""

"My best friend thinks I'm a stalker ...well he's not really my friend....yet."