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Joke of the Day

"*aliens return to ship* ALIEN LEADER: Where are the humans? ""We left them"" AL: Why? ""They didn't look anything like their selfies in rl"""

"Whats the last thing that went through the suicide bombers mind? His ass"

"See above is an understatement."

"I hate it when somebody always comments on my status but never likes them."

"Researchers found that students of a teacher who regularly took LSD lived extraordinarily long lives. It seems his pupils die late."

"I tried to join the Kleptomaniacs Anonymous meeting but all the seats were taken."

"What ever happened to Windows 9? Windows 7 8 9."

"What's the difference... between racism and Chinese people? - Racism has many faces"

"Never believe minotaurs... Half of everything they say is bull."

"""Lie flat on your backs class and circle your feet in the air as if you were riding your bikes"" said the gym teacher. ""Fred! What are you doing? Move your feet boy."" ""I'm freewheeling sir."""