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Joke of the Day

"I've got 99 problems... <snap> 98 problems. <snap> 97 problems. <snap> 96 problems. <snap> BRB... I need to buy more mousetraps."

"Why is Natural Light Bear Grylls favorite beer? Cause it tastes like piss."

"An open letter to the President of the United States. Dear Mr. President I know where you live."

"which is the best key on keyboard?"

"Saw a guy scratch his balls and then he made eye contact with me as he smelled his fingers. Probably took 8 years off my life."

"I'm in a Josef Fritzl tribute band... You probably haven't heard of us, we're pretty underground."

"Why are Lawyers buried forty feet deep when they die? Because deep down they're really nice people."

"You can use lemon juice to get the goat's blood out of the drapes. #householdhints"

"I just tried to make reservations at the library. Couldn't get one though. They were fully booked."

"Why did Microsoft skip Windows 9 Because Microsoft 7 8 9"