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Joke of the Day

"Dad: What do you want for your birthday? Me: I want a gf thats not crazy. Dad: You should ask for something more realistic. Like a dragon."

"Typos. The Greek God of spelling errors."

"Piers Morgan has taken a very strong stance against guns, and who can blame him? If you had a gun, you'd shoot him too."

"What do burnt pizza, frozen beer and a pregnant chick have in common? Some douchebag forgot to pull it out in time."

"Have you ever walked into a room and forgot what you went in for? I done it the other day, I walked in and completely forgot why - my mind went blank. 3 seconds later I shat myself."

"Millionaire Interview Interviewer : Sir, who helped you on becoming a Millionaire? Millionaire : My wife........ I was a billionaire before."

"I was watching some strange porn the other night... ...it had a fat naked guy perched on the end of his bed, crying while he masterbated. Then I realised I hadn't turned the tv on."

"A man recently felt funny and came over queasy... At which point he was asked to leave the local amateur production of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves."

"Over the weekend, the new ""Godzilla"" movie came out. I don't know how Godzilla doesn't hurt himself. I once had to go to the emergency room after stepping on a Lego piece."

"What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk? The cookie!"