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Joke of the Day

"If you took your large intestine and stretched it out in a straight line it would be very hard to get it back in you after that. So tangly."

"Mickey Mouse just got shot at Disney World for being black."

"Just saw two homeless men hitting each other with pieces of cardboard..... Pillow fight"

"Have you ever heard the joke about the three wells? ""No"" ""Well, well, well...."""

"Who do you call when you need a dock fixed? A docktor."

"If A Tree Falls Down In The Woods... But no one is around to hear it. Does a hipster still buy the album?"

"Why is mustard gas so dangerous? Because it was used in World War One to kill people."

"I lost 20 pounds in England last summer. How much is that in American dollars?"

"GARY JOHNSON: let me debate, i wanna debate, lemme lemme MODERATOR: FINE! how will you deal with big banks JOHNSON: like...river banks, or"

"What's the difference between an old bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean"