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Joke of the Day

"Two fish are in a tank... Two fish are in a tank... First one says: I'll drive! Second one says: ""I'll man the guns!"""

"I used to steal jokes. I still do, but I used to, too."

"I have four problems in life... ...counting, remembering and counting."

"I put the 'fun' in functional alcoholic."

"You hurt the feelings of a person who was once the crush of a person who was once a friend of mine so you're a BAD person. ~ internet logic"

"The asterisk was invented by someone seeing a cat's butt and thinking that it would make a great punctuation mark. It was almost a catastrophe."

"I almost killed my whole family last night, but eventually chose not to let my wife drive."

"The reason why there aren't much female superheroes is that you can't expect a girl to wear the same superhero costume twice in a month"

"To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run"

"I just spotted a Chihuahua! That wasn't very nice you shouldn't draw on dogs!"