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Joke of the Day

"My love for you is like a rapist: it just doesn't stop."

"There was a royal baby... The royal baby was born 8 pounds, 6 ounces. With the exchange rate, that's like 12.50, American."

"A Roman soldier walks into a bar He holds up two fingers and says ""I'll have five beers please"""

"Dead Mexicans How do you bury a hundred Mexicans? In a casket."

"I won a competition where you had to make as many Freudian slips as you could in sixty seconds. It was a race against the cock."

"What happens when you cross a snowman and a vampire? You get a frostbite."

"Fred: Did you hear about the Irish window cleaner who put a sign at the top of his ladder? Harry: What did the sign say? Fred: Stop."

"If Robbie Rotten's ""We are number one"" is a meme.. Does that make one a musical number?"

"The very first thing my 3yo daughter said to me this morning was ""I know how to start a fire!"" so nothing you guys say today can scare me."

"You'll catch more flies with honey than you will with vinegar. Also a rotting corpse will work. Or poop. Lots of ways to attract flies."