174362

Joke of the Day

"A Roman soldier walks into a bar He holds up two fingers and says ""I'll have five beers please"""

"Did you know that I hold the World's Record for the smallest penis? It's really hard to beat..."

"Just saw a squirrel jump about 15 feet from one tree to another. He is now my new emergency contact."

"My pizza is burnt, my beer is frozen and my girlfriend is pregnant. I can't take anything out in time."

"Can a cigar box? No, but a tin can."

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder my ass. I haven't been on Myspace in years and I still think it fucking sucks."

"In a last ditch effort to curb over grazing, some ranchers have decided to drive their cattle up into the mountains. Analysts say the steaks have never been higher."

"How do you blind a woman? You put a windshield in front of her."

"How many reposters does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but they have to steal it first."

"Fish Joke of the Day I want to krill myself."