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Joke of the Day

"I'm the girl who shows up at a Halloween party where everyone is dressed as something sexy and I'm dressed as a bean bag."

"Two blondes at the movie:"" Pst, the guy next to me is masturbating!""says one ""just ignore him"" answers her friend. ""But I can't ! He's using my hand!""replies the first blonde"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? CluckBait."

"I called out of work today... Told my boss I had anal glaucoma. I couldn't see my ass coming in today."

"There are two types of people in this world: those who can extrapolate from an incomplete dataset, and"

"Making the Least of Life by Minnie Mumm"

"What do you call a sleep walking nun? A Roman Catholic"

"My girlfriend treats me like God... She shouts my name while fucking other guys"

"Why do they put fences around cemeteries? People are dying to get in."

"My boss touched me inappropriately at work today. It's quite rewarding working from home I tell ya"