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Joke of the Day

"I wish Shaq named his daughter Shaqira."

"How many first-time theater directors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know, what do you guys think?"

"Math teacher joke Why do math teachers never get constipated? Because they always work problems out with a pencil."

"Half of all the people who go to an abortion clinic come out alive..."

"I only have Facebook to keep track of where everyone I know is going to be, so I don't show up there."

"If your legs open up faster than Google's homepage. You are not girlfriend material."

"How does a mathematician get to work? He derives!"

"PERSON: I'm exhausted! ME: Me too! What'd you do? PERSON: Ran a half-marathon and helped my pal move. You? ME: I talked to like 4 people."

"When I started doing stand-up, I didn't have a lot of my own material, so I used to steal Mitch Hedberg jokes I still do, but I used to too."

"A republican posts in /r/politics..."