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Joke of the Day

"I only have Facebook to keep track of where everyone I know is going to be, so I don't show up there."

"What is that red stuff on your face? I said to my older cousin what was that red stuff on his face. ""Where?"" He said. I said , as I was forming a punch then punch is fucking face. ""Right there."""

"I'm jealous of turtles because if they don't want to talk to someone, they're like ""Nah, dude, busy in my shell right now. Come back later."""

"What do you get when you cross an atheist and a christian? An argument"

"Mommy mommy I dont wanna see grandma! Mom: Shut up and keep digging."

"What's the difference between pea soup and mashed potatoes? Anyone can mash potatoes"

"How do skeletons make a baby? They bone"

"Where do you put a Jew who can't pay attention? Concentration Camp."

"We are the Midwest We are snowd en."

"What do cows do for fun? They go to the moo-vies!"