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Joke of the Day

"If your legs open up faster than Google's homepage. You are not girlfriend material."

"My girlfriend says there's no difference between Asians and Caucasians. She really can't tell White from Wong."

"According to WebMD, I have a Client Error due to 400 Bad Request."

"I'm really upset that Vine is getting shut down, because I won't be able to use the phrase, ""do it for the Vine"" anymore... ""Do it or I'll fucking kill you"" just doesn't have the same ring to it."

"I'm on the steak diet. You just have four steaks for breakfast, four for lunch, then a sensible dinner of six steaks."

"My Girlfriend is quite the fox... She eats out of the garbage at night."

"What happened after Hitler dyed his hair blonde? He became a Super Aryian."

"Tech support in the military Troubleshoot to kill."

"*boyfriend calls girlfriend* Bf: ""Hey Babe, I love you!"" Gf: ""we're breaking up"" Bf: ""no we're not, I can hear you just fine."""

"What did the policeman say to his stomach? Your under a vest"